La Tormenta!

by Reverend Moon

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about

Lost and found like the Dead Sea Scrolls, La Tormenta! has been resurrected from a cave of long forgotten studio tapes. Apocryphal revelations recorded in 2005 and written previous to that, some lyrics as early as 1994.

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released May 5, 2005

All revelations by Reverend Moon.

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about

Reverend Moon Toronto, Ontario

REV. MOON (AKA Jakob Rehlinger of MOONWOOD and HEAVY MOON) heralds secular prophecies of the coming ruination.

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Track Name: Repent! Repent!
I found myself upon the beach
Where Jesus made his final speech
But I wonder what he meant
He said, "There's no heavenly ascent
No Holy Grail, no Holy Land
No Holy footprints in the sand"
Then he looked at us with loss
Crawled back up on that cross

He said, "Nothing can save this lot
There ain't no cure for what you all got
You're gonna drown in sugar and spice
Head my warning and take my advice

Repent! Repent!
You're kinky and bent
You're all hell bound and I'm heaven sent
Repent! Repent!
It won't do you no good
'Cause you nailed me to this block of wood"

Uncle Sam was in the sky
Said, "There ain't no apple pie
No Liberty, no Hollywood
No reward for being good
I've been sent to find the cure
To make the milk and honey pure

But there ain't no Disneyland
No Mickey Mouse gonna take your hand
Nothing can save your souls
Chevrolet can't rebuild you whole
The machine has run out of steam
You better get with the winning team

Repent! Repent!
You're kinky and bent
You're all hell bound and I'm heaven sent
Repent! Repent!
It won't do you no good
'Cause you nailed the baby Jesus to a block of wood"

I found Mary in my bed
Told her no whore would give me head
No free love, no easy sex
No hickey bleeding from my neck

She asked about my one true love
A beauty made for dreaming of
I told her, with the sins I got
No blushing bride will tie my knot

She said, "Nothing can save you now
I wouldn't bother anyhow
I hate people who whine and bitch
'Cause they're rubbed raw where they used to itch

Repent! Repent!
You're kinky and bent
You're all hell bound and I'm heaven sent
Repent! Repent!
It won't do you no good
'Cause you nailed my baby to a block of wood"

Repent! Repent! Repent! Repent! Repent! Repent!
Track Name: Viene La Tormenta (Judgement Day)
You can't hide on the Judgement Day
You can't hide on the Judgement Day
Ride your horse to miles away
But you can't hide on the Judgement Day

There's a rain a-comin' gonna wash us clean
There's a rain a-comin' gonna wash us clean
Soften the skin of the hard and mean
There's a rain a-comin' gonna wash us clean

Rivers gonna overflow with blood
Rivers gonna overflow with blood
A wave of sin brings the killing flood
Rivers gonna overflow with blood

In any direction, there's no escape
Angels coming down to murder and rape
Devil's coming up to drag us down
There's room for everyone in Satan's town

There's a storm a-comin' called Judgement Day
There's a storm a-comin' called Judgement Day
There's a storm a-comin' called Judgement Day
There's a storm a-comin' called Judgement Day

You don't wanna be naked on the Judgement Day
You don't wanna be naked on the Judgement Day
Don't get caught while you're making hay
You don't wanna be naked on the Judgement Day

The earth will crack to swallow our souls
The earth will crack to swallow our souls
We'll all fall in that fiery hole
Judgement Day gonna swallow our souls

In any direction, there's no escape
Angels coming down to murder and rape
Devil's coming up to drag us down
There's room for everyone in Satan's town

There's a storm a-comin' called Judgement Day
There's a storm a-comin' called Judgement Day
There's a storm a-comin' called Judgement Day
There's a storm a-comin' called Judgement Day
Track Name: Going To The Boozehall
Goin' to the boozehall with last month's rent
Ain't comin' back 'til it's all spent
Goin' to the boozehall 'til the sun's comin' up

My baby cheats when she plays at cards
When she plays at love she's twice as hard
Goin' to the boozehall 'til the sun's comin' up

When my mood turns melancholic
And my heart has lost its frolic
The solution is alcoholic
The only cure I know for feeling so low

Ain't got no pillow to rest my head
Tonight this bar stool will be my bed
Goin' to the boozehall 'til the stars fade out

My buddy's out of luck and that's too bad
But better than havin' the luck I've had
Goin' to the boozehall 'til the stars fade out

When my mood turns melancholic
And my heart has lost its frolic
The solution is alcoholic
It's the only cure I know for feeling so low

Been a week since I changed my clothes
My baby took my money and gave me woes
Goin' to the boozehall 'til the well run dry

Tried to pawn my wedding ring
But it's made of tin and not worth a thing
Goin' to the boozehall 'til the well run dry

When my mood turns melancholic
And my heart has lost its frolic
The solution is alcoholic
It's the only cure I know for feeling so low
Track Name: Talkin' Urban Isolation Blues
I got stains on my fingers I can't wash
I got 'em in the garden of Heironymus Bosch
Where they stuck my nose in a bowl of spice
And flowers up my ass to make my breath smell nice
I scrub but can't get the stains off my fingers
The colour fades, the smell it lingers

The Nazis made soap from the fat of the Jews
They used it to clean the blood from their shoes
We're packed like sardines in this subway train
Everybody's fingers got the same yellow stains
My blood is as thick and the colour of tar
This subway train feels like a Dachau cattle car

I wonder in all this bustle
With every additional hustle
Is it just a hollow muscle
Or is it a heart?

There's tears in my eyes and pollution in my nose
Some fat Texan's cigar is stinkin' up my clothes
I lean over and tell him what Sigmund Freud thought
Sometimes a cigar is a tobacco covered cock
He blows smoke in my face while the train keeps on buckin'
I keep turning green and he keeps on suckin'

I don't know who they are, I don't know what they want
But they're vivisecting virgins in the state of Vermont
I subscribe to their newsletter, it comes three times a year
They keep manifesting manifestos but none of them are clear
To me their talkin' sounds like Stephen Hawkins
They offered me a ride, but I'm still walkin'

I wonder in all this bustle
With every additional hustle
Is it just a hollow muscle
Or is it a heart?
Track Name: The Thirst That Can't Be Quenched
I was at the zoo, St. Peter was at the gates
He had been demoted 'cause one day he woke up late
The first cage I saw held wild and savage beasts
Peter said to me, "Please don't feed the priests

They have the thirst that can't be quenched
The thirst that can't be quenched
Cursed for eternity
With the thirst that can't be quenched"

Jesus said to Mary, "There's money to be earned
These people need a saviour and some lessons to be learned
No you can be healed for less than half the cost
And book your seats now for my heath upon the cross

You have the thirst that can't be quenched
The thirst that can't be quenched
Cursed for eternity
With the thirst that can't be quenched"

The Pope was dying on his gold and feather bed
His last wish was to give the Baby Jesus head
The Cardinals tossed his corpse out in the mud
Then slit his throat and got drunk on his blood

They have the thirst that can't be quenched
The thirst that can't be quenched
Cursed for eternity
With the thirst that can't be quenched
Track Name: Holocaust Broker
I'm a holocaust broker, I deal in fear
The world will end within a year
I saw it in the tea leaves perfectly clear
So sign your life away right over here
Sign it over to me
I'm immortal, I'm divine
And only I can save you
If you're tired of singing the pandemic blues
Then give me your shirt, I got a deal for you

Eleven years ago, whenever that was
I shot a kid, just because
That's the sort of thing everybody does
When you're growing up, looking for a buzz
And besides he deflowered my adolescent sister
Not that I cared about her at all
She was just the Queen of the Shopping Mall

I woke well rested one foggy morn
Nineteen years from the day I was born
I drank myself blind and rented some porn
Did everything I could to incur Mamma's scorn
But that didn't satisfy my new-found adult needs
For Lust, Wrath and Greed
So I voted for some guy who made a nice speech
Didn't seem to bright but I liked his teeth

Then I took a little ride out to the coast
Lookin' for the beach that I liked the most
When I arrived I was white as a ghost
When I left I was burnt like toast
Had plenty-a-sand kicked in my face
I formed an opinion of the human race
It molded my psyche like modeling clay
I vowed I'd rule the beach someday

Although I'm immortal, I just might
Die tomorrow or tomorrow night
That's if everything is planned out right
I'll just suddenly drop out of sight
Get a sex change and pose as my own spouse
I've got a million or two in life insurance
When you run from yourself you need good endurance
Track Name: Devil's Shoes
I'm wearin' the Devil's shoes
And I'm singing these walkin' blues

I've walked many a mile
From the Mississippi to the Nile

From the Mississippi to the Nile
I'm a weary-hearted child

I'm weary to the bone
My soul have been overthrown

Oh Lord above please hear me
On my soul please have mercy

I'm wearin' the Devil's shoes
And I'm singing these walkin' blues

I've walked many a mile
From the Mississippi to the Nile

I'm got a weary-hearted soul
Make my weary body whole

I'm wearin' the Devil's shoes
And I'm signing these walkin' blues
Track Name: Bury Me Standing (bonus track)
Bury me standing with the wind at my back
Like the old old scarecrow by the broken track
Like the old scarecrow with his wicker cane
A hole in my top hat where I'm touched by the rain

Bury me standing, don't lay me down
I never wanted to sleep in that frozen ground
I only want to sleep by your frozen side
By those broken tracks where no train rides

Bury me standing but not underground
Bury me standing

Bury me standing with my mojo bag
Tighten my belt when my trousers sag
Tighten my belt like a hang man's noose
You know I hate it when my pants get loose

Bury me standing with a candle stick
I'll need something pawn when I get sick
We all need something pawn when the honey bees sting
So hang on to your grandma's ring

Bury me standing when I get sick
Bury me standing

You can buy and old pine box
Dress me up in new tie and socks
Toss my fiddle in the hole
Just bury me standing

Just bury me standing, tie rocks to my feet
Don't let me dance when my heart don't beat
My heart don't beat, it hasn't for years
And my dancing shoes caused so many tears

Just bury me standing with my eyes sewn shut
Plug my ears with an acorn nut
Plug my ears, they've heard too much
Bind my hands so they cannot touch

Bury me standing without my shoes
Bury me standing you got nothin' to lose
Bury me standing, my heart don't beat
Bury me standing
Bury me standing
Track Name: Show Me Love (bonus track)
Show me love in shady days
I'll respect your tepid ways
And love you with a wanton heart
Like syphilitic Bonaparte

Mad as hatters on the street
Dance for me with crooked feet
And I will touch the way your please
As knowingly a Socrates

Teach me words of ancient Greek
Fan the love of which we speak
And when you've got my palette wet
Do kill yourself like Juliet

And I, your charming Romeo,
Asleep in fields of barley gold
Will dream fantastic shadow plays
of shady love on tepid days

Oh, love me with a wanton heart
Like syphilitic Bonaparte

Oh, when you've got my palette wet
Do kill yourself like Juliet

Mad as hatters on the street
I'll dance for you with crooked feet

Oh, love me with your wanton heart
You syphilitic Bonaparte